It's happening. I'm starting to lose motivation. You know that feeling....you're getting sick of counting calories and tracking every morsel you put in your mouth. Your brain is on overload trying to figure out how many calories you have left for the day, and what you can/can't eat to meet that goal. You're sick and tired because it seems other thin people don't have to think so damn much and do all that math that you have to do.
Why does it have to be so hard? Why did I have to get this way? I wish I could just wave a magic wand and make all this weight disappear. I'm tired of being overweight. I'm tired of having nothing to wear. And I'm tired of looking like a beached whale. Going out is torture. I feel like I wear the same things every weekend out (all black, of course), and I'm rotating the same 5 work outfits every week. Even though my closet is full of clothes. I hate how I look. My boobs (thanks to my mother) make me look absolutely huge on top, and my lower body is so much smaller; so I look so disproportionate.
I'm tired of being so bored at work all the time that I constantly turn to food. I get home and I'm bored at home, so I eat food then too. And when I'm stressed? I turn to food. When I'm angry or sad? I turn to food. Why??? Why can't I be a normal person and learn to deal with my emotions rather than eat them?
I don't know what to do right now to get my motivation back. All I know right now is that I don't want to do this anymore, and I want to quit.
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