Week 3 Day 2 Recap

Yesterday was a tough workout.  I did not want to go to the gym.  I was dragging all day - I had no motivation to do anything, and I was exhausted.  I don't know why I was so tired, but I'm thinking that all this training is making my body just a little tired.  But I went to the gym anyway.  I was about to drive home, but decided to drive the other way to the gym.  I was happy I did that.  Proud of myself.

Inside was a different story.  I started my music and started the warm-up.  My legs felt like lead.  I kept telling myself I wasn't sure how I was going to finish that workout.  The first run was a little difficult.  It was hard getting my feet off the ground, one foot in front of the other.  Finally I could start walking again.  Ugh, then the 3 minutes came.  It was hard.  My breathing was very hard (I'm sure people were scared when they heard me coming up behind them).  My legs hurt and burned.  I wanted to quit.  I looked at my phone, and saw I had 15 seconds left, so I kept going.

Finally I could walk again.  By this point, the workout was getting a little easier, and my mood started to lift.  

"Hey,"  I thought.  "Maybe I really can do this whole thing."

Wrong.  The next 90 second run and walk were okay.  Then when I got to the three minutes, I hit a wall.  After running for what seemed like an eternity, I looked at my phone to see how much time was left.  Oh my god, I was only halfway through that 3 minutes.  I couldn't keep going.  And I started to walk.  I continued to jog/walk for the rest of that 1 minute and 30 seconds.  But I was disappointed in myself.  

"If I can't run for 3 minutes, how the hell am I going to run a 5K??"

"I'm going to embarrass myself in front of everyone."

"Maybe I shouldn't have told everyone about this 5K."

"Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a runner."

Then that happened.  I kept putting myself down, because I didn't finish the full 3 minutes.  I started getting scared of that 5K.  But you know what?  Not every run is going to be a good one.  I had no energy yesterday.  I wasn't fueling myself with the right foods yesterday.  I had absolutely no water.

When I got home, I found this book.

I got this book a while back, when I had decided I wanted to be a runner, but never even made it through the first week of training.  Now?  I've made it a lot farther than I did all that time ago.  I studied what I should be eating.  It's really no different than what everyone else should eat to be healthy.  Something inside me clicked.  I should not be running to negate the calories that I eat every day.  I should be eating to fuel my workouts.  I need balanced meals.  I need the right food at the right times to give myself energy for a run.  I always knew this, but I never knew  this (get what I mean?).  

And then I was proud of myself.  Proud that I went to the gym.  Proud that I finished that workout, even though I just wanted to stop.  Proud that I plan to keep going with my regularly scheduled workouts.  Because that's what I have to do.