It’s Called A Break-Up Because It’s Broken (Part 4)

I promise I’ll finish this series up real soon, either tomorrow or Wednesday.  Then it’ll be back to my normally scheduled blogging.   :)

Read Part One Here
Read Part Two Here
Read Part Three Here

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E had been the best-looking guy I had gone out with.  I was captivated by him.  And it made my stomach do flip-flops knowing he wanted me – me, the supposed “ugly” girl.  It all started innocently enough.  He told me I was cute, he watched me all the time, and a couple times he went out to lunch with a friend and I (this was when I was working at that same warehouse I met K. It was during my winter break - so he didn't live by me when I was going to school the rest of the year).  He eventually asked me to be his girlfriend.  It was a little difficult at the time, as I was living in Mankato and going to college (but I was in the process of applying to transfer schools to be closer to home).  The next couple of months flew by. 

But then I started to wonder…why could I never go to his house?  Why were we always going to places far away from where he lived?  I knew he had a son, and maybe that was it, so I didn’t question him.  But I should have.  Because a couple months into our relationship, I got a phone call.  From his fiance.  I don’t know how she got my number, or how she found out about me.  I was oblivious to her.  She told me that they lived together, she was helping him get full custody of his son, and they were engaged to be married.

He had some explaining to do.  I skipped my classes that day and drove all the way from Mankato to the cities (remember, an hour and a half drive).  Because, you know, you can’t have a conversation on the phone or anything (stupid Heather).  We talked.  And talked, and talked some more.  What did he tell me?  That, yes, they had been engaged at some point, but he told her that he didn’t want to marry her long ago.  He was just waiting for her to move out.  Did I believe him?  Yep.  Sigh.  Because, well, he was just so darn good-looking!!  How could I not believe him??

Eventually she did move out.  I still don’t really know if he was telling me the truth, but I think deep down inside I do know the truth.  We stayed together for 5 years.  5 years way too long, because that relationship was doomed from the start.  5 years is way too long, and there are way too many details to go through in one post, but I’ll do my best to sum up the relationship.

It was terrible, and it was very toxic.  I didn’t trust him at all.  Maybe because of the way our relationship started, and maybe because of all the lies I caught him in.  After about a year and a half with him, I moved in with him.  By that time, he had gotten full custody of his son, so I basically became the live-in girlfriend/step-mom all at once.  Things were great at first.  But then I noticed some strange things.

He would get calls in the middle of the night sometimes.  He thought that by turning his phone on silent, I wouldn’t know.  But I wasn’t stupid.  I started going through his phone, and found a lot of names of guys that I didn’t know.  So what would any sane girlfriend do?  Start calling those numbers as a blocked number.  Yep.  I was that girlfriend.  And it turned out that “Alejandro” was actually a woman.  Same goes with “Pedro” and….well, you get the point.  The list went on.  I confronted him about it.  He said that it was probably just the wives of his friends.  I believed him.

Then I started going through his phone records (at least until he changed carriers so that he could do one of those “pay-as-you-go plans” with no call records).  I kept finding more and more evidence that there were other women, but he always found a convincing excuse.  Then, it happened.  There was one number that he was calling.  A lot.  Before work, on all his breaks, after work, during the times he left the house.  One phone conversation had gone on for more than 2 hours.  I knew something was up, but this time I didn’t confront him.  I called the bitch myself.  I told her everything about us.  I told her I lived with him.  I called her and bothered her nonstop.  I realize now what a psycho I was, but I was so angry.  Especially because it didn’t seem like she cared at all that she was ruining our relationship.  And he never admitted anything.

I left her mean messages, I taunted her, I threatened her – everything.  But she wouldn’t go away.  One day, she even said, “Tu novio es mi novio.” (Your boyfriend is my boyfriend)  So…Hispanic people like to share their partners??  No, obviously they don’t, but I was so confused.  He never ‘fessed up to anything….he only called me crazy.  We got in to huge fights, some even physically abusive.  He never touched my face, but a few times gave me terrible bruises on my legs, and once on my stomach (when he kicked me).  The abuse wasn't constant, as it happened only a few times, but enough to damage my self-esteem even more.

On our last Valentine’s Day together, we were apart.  I was expecting him to come home after work, but he never showed up.  I spent the entire night calling his phone (which was turned off).  I started calling her, but her phone was off too.  How could he do that to me on Valentine’s Day???  I was up the entire night, shaking, and crying.  His son was not there, thank God – it was actually his birthday, and he was spending the weekend with his mom.  When E finally did come home, the next afternoon, he told me that he had gotten drunk with his friends and stayed at one of his friend's houses.  And his cell phone battery died.  I'm sure you already know, but, I believed him.  I later found out, after going through his credit card records, that he had gone to Applebee’s and checked in to a motel, in a town about 2 hours away.  Lovely.

You’d think after all that, I would have left him.

I’m embarrassed to admit, that no, I did not leave him...willingly.  I only left because he forced me out of his house.  He said we can work on our relationship, but he couldn’t let me live there – not with his son.  After I moved out, we remained "friends," and I was hopeful that it would still work.  How stupid of me.  I eventually found out, through Facebook (I was good friends with his cousin), that he married this woman.  And the reason he wanted me out of the house?  She was pregnant.  So much for wanting me out because he wanted to work on things with me.  So he had been coming to see me, sleeping with me, everything….all the while he was getting married to this woman and having a baby with her. 

This "friends with benefits" relationship went on for about a year.  He never admitted anything (even though I told him I saw pictures of his new “baby” on Facebook – which he eventually deleted after I said that).  To this DAY, he does not admit anything.  And that’s what bothers me the most.  That he is such a coward and will not admit to what he did.  He only admits to the fact that he thinks I was crazy. 

I had gotten so tired of everything.  I started going out with my friends more.  One night in particular (about 2 years ago), I decided to go out dancing with a group of friends.  I had never been to this place, but it was a salsa club, so I was excited.  Oh the tangled webs I weave.  I should have known that you should never look into a serious relationship with a guy you meet in a club.  But this is me we’re talking about.  Yes, I got over E.  Because I met M on this night….