It’s Called a Break-Up Because It’s Broken (Part 2)

Read Part One Here

----

This was it.  The moment of truth.  Had I just humiliated myself?  I started to second-guess myself.  Why the hell did I tell her to tell him that I liked him??  What if he laughed?  How am I ever going to show my face again?  There was a brief moment of wondering if I should transfer schools. 

“He likes you!” she exclaimed.  “And he thinks you’re really cute!  But…”

Um, what did she mean “but?”  There’s no “but” if someone likes you and thinks you’re really cute!!!

“He has a girlfriend.”

BOOM.  That was my world coming to an end.  But how could he like me and have a girlfriend at the same time?  What kind of guy says that??  What a scum bag!

“He said she’s really mean to him, and that he was planning on breaking up with her.”

So that was that.  He liked me, and I liked him, but he was unavailable.  Even though he was planning on breaking up with her, he was still off-limits.  A month or so passed, and he still had not broken up with her.  I figured it was over for him and I – they probably made up and wouldn’t be breaking up.

Then I found out that they did break up.  I had to do something, but I didn’t know what.  By that time, everyone and their mother knew about my crush, and everyone knew he liked me back.  My friends were getting fed up, so one day in my psychology class, my friend Sarah casually asked him if he wanted to go to a movie with all of us that Friday night.  He said yes!!

We went to see 8 Mile, and to be honest, I remember absolutely nothing about that movie.  I do remember the scene where Eminem and Brittany Murphy were having sex.  That was a little awkward.  Like really awkward.  Yep.

After a while, we became inseparable.  We did everything together, and we did go to prom together.  Everything seemed to be going fine.  That is, until I realized what a jealous girlfriend I could be.

He was quite the social butterfly – quite opposite of me, actually.  He was friends with everyone – he was even voted “Everyone’s Friend.”  But every girl he talked to, I got more and more jealous.  I didn’t like that he was giving someone else attention.  Did that mean he was getting sick of me?  Maybe I wasn’t pretty enough.  Maybe my old crush, J, was right – maybe I was ugly. 

I’d like to say that I changed and saw the light.  I didn’t.  Our relationship only got worse, and during the summer after our freshman year in college, we broke up.  It was terrible.  I spent about a month begging him to come back to me.  I did everything I could.  I wrote him 7 page letters, about how I loved him and how I could change.  I showed up at his house several times to talk to him.  I called him 354354354354 times.  I even sank to my knees in an empty parking lot at midnight and cried out to him.  Yep, that’s real attractive, and I’m sure he was just trying to hold himself back from me. 

I had absolutely no pride left.  I still had hope 2 months later, until I saw his car drive by my parents’ house (it was a jeep that the top comes off), and I saw a blonde girl’s hair waving in the wind.  My heart broke.  I couldn’t believe it.  He replaced me, and I wasn’t good enough.  I wasn't pretty enough.

“I’m going to die alone,” I thought.  “I’m never going to get married, and I’ll end up an old cat lady.”

I was miserable, and so terrified that I would never find anyone else.  That is, until a few months later, when I met K…