Putting Yourself First

I've been thinking a lot about this topic lately, because it seems I have such a hard time doing it.  Putting myself first, that is.  It could be that this is one of the main reasons why it's so hard for me to stay consistent with weight loss.

Yesterday was a perfect example.  I brought my gym bag to work, knowing I'd be going to my favorite class - Turbo Step.  But then my friend called me right after work and asked if I was going to his volleyball game.  I hesitated a little, but then told him yes.  

Why?  I knew I needed to go to the gym, but I went there anyway.  And I do absolutely nothing there but sit on my butt, which is what I do all day at work.  Then, when it came to the snacks, I told myself I wouldn't eat anything.  I had a 100 calorie pack of Cheez-its in my purse - I had it there for this reason.  But then my friend ordered me french fries and hot dog (no bun - all topped with ketchup and mayo - it's called Salchipapas in South America).  I didn't ask him for it, he just ordered it.  When they gave it to me, I was a little dumbfounded, but accepted it.  And I ate it.  Not all of it - I ate half of it.  But still.  I had been eating healthy all day, and then I ate that.  

This all boils down to not putting myself first.  I believe this is the root of a lot of my issues - low self-esteem, and weight, being the biggest issues.  

So for those of us with this issue - how do we change this?  I guess it's really just a matter of doing it - putting ourselves first, and practicing every day.  Rather than agreeing to go to the volleyball game, I could have said no.  Or at the very least, I could have gone to the gym first.  Saying no when the food was given to me (but in their culture, that's considered rude, so I felt like I didn't have a choice).  Telling my friend ahead of time that I don't want any food - I brought my own.

I have a lot of practicing to do.  It's not easy - I don't like to put myself first.  I feel selfish, and I feel bad for it.  I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  But it's time to suck it up.  Who cares if I'm selfish when it comes to my health?  It's my body, and my health on the line, here.  We're always taught when we're young to not be selfish, but I think some of us took that message the wrong way.  There are certain things that we need to be selfish about.  And there's no reason I should feel guilty for saying no.

But no more should'a could'a would'a - going forward, I'm making a promise to myself to practice putting myself first.  I hope all of you can do the same!