Okay, it’s time to be honest. Because what’s the point of having a blog to chronicle my (attempt at) weight loss if I’m just going to lie? That’s right, there’s no point. So it’s time to be real for a sec….
I really suck at sticking to things. Now don’t run away! This is not a post about me quitting the Bikini Series. Far from it, actually. But I did slip quite a bit this week. And that is not acceptable, considering it’s only the first week of the challenge. I only checked in twice this week on Instagram (so there goes my chance at an early weekly prize). And I followed the eating plan maybe 1 1/2 days. And worked out 3 times (out of 5).
I guess you could call that somewhat of a success, but there is absolutely no excuse as to why I didn’t do better. Especially with all the excitement leading up to day 1 of the challenge, and all the support I’ve gotten on Instagram.
But that seems to be how it goes for me. I do really well day 1, do sort of okay day 2, then start getting lazier and lazier as the week goes on. And that keeps going until Sunday when I prep all my meals and get ready for the week, and it all starts over on Monday. I applaud those of you who can stick to a plan for even a week, because I can’t seem to make it that far.
I know I can’t get down on myself, and I just have to keep going, but that’s easier said than done. But it’s my only choice. Because you know what? I took my before pictures a couple days ago.
They were not pretty, and I literally cried when I looked at myself. I am so unrecognizable, even to myself. I can’t believe that I look like this. I pretty much look like a ball on top of my toothpick legs. It is unflattering, but more importantly, it is completely unhealthy.
I don’t know if I want to share them on the blog, because they are absolutely hideous and embarrassing. Maybe I’ll share them as I progress more into my journey. But for now, they’re staying on my iPad, for only my eyes to see.
I never thought I would get to this point. I always thought that the 150s were where I’d be stuck forever. And now I’m wishing I were still in the 150s, because that was much better than where I am right now. I’m getting really close to that 200 mark. I can NOT get there, and I’m promising myself, here and now, that I WILL NOT get there. I will only go down from here on out, just like I promised in my first post back to blogging.
Well that was a lot of rambling. I’m not even sure what I was trying to get to….I guess I needed to vent (yet again). I wish I could say I knew of a way to get me to stop destroying myself week after week. I wish I knew how I could get myself through an entire week without slipping, and then another week, and another. But right now I just don’t know. I don’t know if it’s because I’m lazy, I’m not motivated….probably both.
If anyone has any pointers or advice, I’m all ears.
That’s it for now. LOL, what a lovely Friday post. I hope you all enjoy your weekend. I’ll pop in soon!
No comments:
Post a Comment