Bikini Series Start

Hey hey, it’s me again!  I’m so bad at posting regularly, but I’ll work on it!!

So last week I did a sort of “prep” to get ready for the bikini series.  I seriously cut back on my portions, did some Tone it Up workouts (not as many as I had wished, but more than normal), and tried my best to stick to a healthy eating plan.  I also really worked hard at creating a routine after work so that I wouldn’t mindlessly snack all night and negate everything I did during the day.  And guess what?  I lost 3.8 pounds!  Of course, I’m sure a lot of that was water weight, but I was excited to see the scale go down a bit.  My goal was to lose 2 pounds, so I definitely surpassed that goal.    :)

(Source)

Now on to the Bikini Series, which officially launched on Monday (though, the meal plan started Sunday).  I was excited to get started, especially since I got my Stunner bundle in the mail with all these goodies on Saturday….

I was pumped and ready to get planning so I could go grocery shopping!  I really love the journal that was included in the bundle.  I had originally planned on using my Erin Condren planner to track everything, but the journal is perfect for this Bikini Series! 

I did my grocery shopping on Saturday.  One of the recipes called for coconut meat.  I was wondering where the heck to get coconut meat, but decided I would head to Whole Paycheck Foods to get a coconut, and a couple other items that weren’t at Trader Joe’s.   Overall, the groceries weren’t too expensive….not much more than I normally spend, and my fridge is packed!  Don’t think I could squeeze anything else in there.

Sunday morning I got to work right away prepping the Perfect Fit Blueberry muffins that I needed to eat for breakfast that morning.

(Please ignore the dirty oven, because….who really cleans their oven??)  While the muffins were baking I did their Set the Bar routine from their 2nd DVD, which is basically a run through of several moves where you do each move for a minute and record how many reps you did (burpees, push-ups, plyo lunges, etc)…..then at the end of the 8 weeks, I’ll do it again and see how much I’ve improved.

After my workout I ate my breakfast (2 Perfect Fit Protein muffins, strawberries, and almond milk) and planned a little more.  Although I was planning on following the meal plan, and it does look like it is fool-proof, I just don’t think it’s for me.  Some of the recipes look good, and I will try them out, but some of the foods just won’t work for me or my boyfriend.  I did buy all the ingredients that the meal plan called for, so I did waste a little money, but I’ll try utilizing the ingredients as much as I can for the rest of the week to make sure I don’t waste all of it.  I’m just more of a person who does better when I have things I actually like (a couple lunches call for a salad, which I did not like….I doubt it’s the salad, it’s just me, because I hate salads).  I’m going to use the plan going forward as a loose guide, and sub in things that I know I like, rather than thinking I might like the recipes and end up hating them. 

So there ya have it!  So far so good this week.  Well, other than my booty calls (the Tone It Up version of a morning workout).  I’m just not a morning person no matter what I do.  I’ll keep attempting, and this week my goal is to do at least one.  So far I’m 0 for 3. 

I’ll be checking in again this week.  Saturday will be my weigh-in days for the plan, since I plan on having my cheat meal on Saturday nights (so I obviously can’t weigh in on Sundays, ha).  Hopefully I can pop in for a sec on Saturday for sure to do a quick weigh-in post.

Have a good rest of your day, and don’t forget to follow me on Instagram for my Bikini Series updates (@myinnerbutterfly)!

Ricky Roo

I heard through the grapevine that tomorrow is “National Pet Day.”  So in honor of this lovely day, here are some pics of my crazy, but cute cat, Ricky (who I affectionately call “Ricky Roo”)!

He loves to lay like this.  I’m surprised his neck doesn’t get sore….

Another one of his weird positions.  This is probably one of my favorites….

He loves to be outside, but also loves to chase the birds and other cats, and many times we’ve found him stuck in a tree.  So he needs to stay on his leash (yes, like a dog)!

This was after I got a new collar for him.  He didn’t like it.  It didn’t last long.

I just thought this was cute.

This was right after they installed new kitchen cabinets in my apartment….he was pretty curious.  Poor guy had to be locked in my room all day too when they did it.     :(

That’s it for today!  Enjoy your weekend, and I’m hoping to get something up this weekend, as I’ll be prepping for the Bikini Series.  Starts on Monday!!   :D 

Bikini Series Time

Oops!  Haven’t updated in a few days.  Work has been busy since the office was closed on Friday, but I’m finally starting to catch up again.

So, let’s see….where did I leave off?  I listed some goals that I have to stop eating at night.  So far so good.  I’ve made sure to make a little schedule each day in my Erin Condren planner.  Basically to keep me away from the couch/computer/TV.  I pretty much workout right away after work, do dishes, cook, etc. before I allow myself to sit down.  Because once I sit down…..I’m down for the night.

I also implemented a “no snacking” rule unless I’m sitting at the table.  So far, I’ve been successful!  I’ve actually only had to use that rule once, because the other days I’ve been home, I haven’t been hungry.  Monday I was starving so after my workout, I had a piece of banana bread while sitting at the table.  It hit the spot, and I was good to go the rest of the night until dinner!

So this week has been going well so far.  Something I’m really really excited about is the Tone It Up Bikini Series, which starts next Monday the 13th!!!

I half-assed last year’s Bikini Series, but I’m super-pumped about it this year.  They had “bundles” to celebrate the 5th anniversary, and I purchased the most expensive members-only bundle (I’m considered a “member” because I purchased their Nutrition Plan, and they come out with updates and special editions all the time, which is free to me for life as a member!).  The thing I was most excited about in my bundle is that we get an 8-week journal to go right along with the Bikini Series!  And I love any excuse to journal.   :)    My bundle finally shipped on Monday night, and I’ll hopefully be getting it on Saturday.

From my Instagram (@myinnerbutterfly)

So to get prepped for the Bikini Series, I’ve been following their weekly workout plan this week.  I haven’t done every workout, but I have done the majority of them.  I’m loving them.  At first glance, they looked really easy, and I was like “well, how would this do anything?”…..but they are really challenging!  Especially when upping the weights or doing each workout 2-3 times through!  I’m still feeling the burn from their Bikini Arms routine on Tuesday!

Members are also receiving a free 8-week guide that basically gives you a Bikini Series meal plan……the email is supposed to go live today, so I’m really looking forward to getting that too!!  I have my Hotmail open next to my work email, ha!

So this blog will basically be a lot of Tone It Up Bikini Series for the next 8 weeks.  I’m hoping that with the amount of weight I have to lose, I can lose a good chunk and hopefully be in the running for the grand prize to Playa Del Carmen!  And hopefully I can win a weekly prize or two….they give out prizes to random people who check-in every day on Instagram and such.  My Instagram account will come alive again!  You can follow me over there….my user name is @myinnerbutterfly.

Okay, that’s all for today!  It’s Friday eve…woo-hoo!

Planning and Organizing

Food, food, food.  It is the thing that keeps me alive, but also my worst enemy.  I have such a hard time controlling myself around it.  Yes, it is supposed to be used solely for fuel purposes, but boy do I abuse it. 

I honestly don’t know when or how it started.  I didn’t have a weight problem growing up, but that was mostly because I was a dancer, and we danced for  more than a few hours every day.  So I could whatever the heck I wanted.  Maybe that’s how it started?  Maybe it’s that I got so used to eating whatever I wanted.  Sure, I noticed that I couldn’t do that anymore once I started gaining weight in college, but did I let that stop me?  Nope.  Because I love food.  I love the taste, the texture, and everything about it.

Not only that, but it makes me feel good.  When I’m lonely, I eat.  When I’m sad, I eat.  When I’m stressed, I eat.  When I’m bored, I eat. 

You get the picture.

I honestly don’t know how to stop it.  But one step I’m going to take is to stay away from it.  Keep the triggers out of my home, and keep myself from getting bored.  I usually get home around 5:00, if I don’t go to the gym (and who am I fooling…I don’t go that often, obviously).  That leaves a good 5-6 hour window of “eating opportunity”, or whatever you want to call it.  I’ve tried going to the gym, like I said, but more often than not I talk myself out of going, and end up driving straight past the gym. 

When I was in dance, I had to go.  I had no choice.  And that kept me from eating.  Any day I didn’t have dance, once I got home from school, I’d head straight to the kitchen for a snack (chips and cheese with some pop was always a favorite) to eat while doing homework.  It was a habit I formed, and obviously held on to….because I still head straight for the kitchen the second I get home.

So obviously there are going to be new behaviors that I’m going to have to learn.  Here’s what I have so far.

1.)  No eating /snacking until afternoon workout is complete.   I know it doesn’t stop the eating, but I know I certainly don’t feel like pigging out after working out and completely ruining what I just did.
2.)  When eating/snacking, food can be consumed ONLY at the kitchen table.  Any other place is off-limits.  No standing up by the fridge or the oven while I’m cooking, no eating on the couch.  If I want a snack, I’ll prepare it and eat it at the table.
3.)  Keep all trigger foods/drinks out of the apartment.  This one I already mentioned, and it’s pretty self-explanatory.  I seem to do a lot better when I don’t have junk food in the house.
4.)  Schedule my day.  I bought the Erin Condren Life Planner a few months back.  I’ve used it here and there, but I’ll be using it much more.  I’ll be using it as a food/exercise journal, and as a way to plan my day.  Certain blocks of time are when I’ll be allowed to watch TV or surf the internet/Instagram/Bloglovin/etc.  Every day may be different, depending on my workout plan for that day.  But a general rule I’ll follow is this:  5-7 is workout time/shower time, 7-7:15 is snack time, 7:15-7:45 is cooking time, 7:45-8 is dishwashing time, 8-8:30 is dinner time (at the table!!!), 8:30-10 is TV/internet/blog time, and 10-bedtime is reading time.  It may sound a little too structured, but I have absolutely no structure in my life.  I don’t have kids to take care of, and I’m basically free to do whatever I want when I want (such a terrible problem, I know).  So I need to create some sort of structure to follow.
5.)  Get more sleep.   Easier said than done.  But I need to get more sleep.  I need to get to bed earlier, no excuses!

I’ll be posting this list on my fridge to look at every day and to remember what my goals are.  I realize I need to be a little more organized and plan a little better if I want to lose weight.  So plan and organize I will!

No work for me tomorrow, so today is my Friday.   :D    If I don’t post tomorrow, I hope everyone has a Happy Easter!

Enough Is Enough

Well hello there….I’m sure no one is here anymore.  Which is to be expected.  But I miss blogging.  I miss the accountability, and I miss writing.  So, I’m back!   :D

Now more than ever I need the accountability.  I’m not going to go into the nitty gritty details, but my weight has been climbing.  If you read my blog before, you know this. 

I think before I signed off on blogging, my weight was around 176 pounds, plus or minus a few because it fluctuated so much.  I weighed myself this morning, and I’m now at 189.4.    :(     I can’t believe it. 

Guys, I’m getting really scared.  How is it possible?  It just keeps creeping up and up and it’s not stopping.  I’m starting to feel out of control.  A huge problem lately is doing so good during the day, then getting home and completely bingeing.  Part of my problem is that I have trigger foods in the apartment for my boyfriend.  I’ve gotten rid of those foods, but this is just getting ridiculous.  It has to stop.  I never thought I’d be up to almost 200 pounds.  That is just terrifying to me, and I have been so disgusted with myself and my body.  Honestly, I really feel like I haven’t changed my eating habits so much that it would warrant that type of weight gain, so I’m really at a loss.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older, the sedentary lifestyle is catching up, or what. 

But that stops now.  I need this blog, I need the support, and the accountability.  So I’m back.  For how long?  Who knows….but at least until I can get this weight under control.  I’ll be documenting my entire journey here.  The highs, the lows, and the boring in-betweens.  No more pushing things under the rug, and no more weight gain.  I absolutely refuse to let myself gain another ounce. 

From this point forward, the scale goes down.  I will NOT allow it to go up. 

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!

The End

I’ve thought so many times of closing this blog down.  I haven’t done it yet, but at this time, I think that’s what the best decision is for me.  I just don’t have the time that I used to to dedicate to this blog.  I used to have a really boring job where I could surf the internet pretty much the entire day and get paid for it.  Not anymore.  If I surf the internet for even 15 minutes, I get behind.  Then usually by the time I get home, I’m exhausted and don’t want to come up with a blog entry.

It’s become a chore, and not something I enjoy anymore.  So with that, I’m going to have to shut this place down.  I will continue reading/following other blogs.  And maybe some day I’ll come back (under a different name).  But this is the end for My Inner Butterfly.

I know there are not many of you out there, but to whoever is reading this…thanks for sticking around.  I’ve definitely enjoyed this place…..it’s this space that brought me to my very first 5K.  Something I will always remember.  This blog has seen a lot of ups and downs, and I am forever grateful for it, and all the readers who have commented.  I appreciate you more than you know.

Thanks again.

Another Wake-Up Call

I had another wake up call last night.  I'm not sure how many more of these I'm going to have before I finally change things.  But I hope it's some time soon.
Last night I went out with some friends, and I wanted to look extra nice, because lately I haven't been looking too nice.  I did my hair, did my makeup (a rare occurrence), and as I was getting ready to head out, I grabbed my pretty blue jacket that I've had for a few years.
It didn't fit.  I couldn't even zip it up.
How could that be??  I didn't think that I had really gained that much weight.  But there it was, plain as day.
"Okay," I thought.  "I still have my red one.  I don't have to zip it up.  It just has two buttons and a tie around the waist."
It didn't fit.  It was very tight around the shoulders/arms area.
Sigh.
You can only ignore the signs for so long.  I always thought it was weird how people didn't notice they were gaining weight.  But I see how it can happen now.  I mean....I knew I was gaining weight.  But I didn't think it was that noticeable.  Clothes don't lie.  And jackets certainly don't lie.
I'm so tired of this.  So.  Very.  Tired.
When is this going to stop?  It has to.  And soon.    :(