Begin Again

I can’t believe I’m writing this post.  I feel like this blog is back to square one – only further back.  Does that make sense?  Since I started this blog, I have seen myself lose weight, gain weight, lose it again, and now back to gaining weight.  Only this time I weigh more than I ever have in my entire life.  Even more than I did when I was complaining at the beginning of the year when I hit the 160s, which I had never done. 

I’m now in to the 170s.  I’m only 5’1”. 

Seriously?  Am I really at that point?  It was exactly a year ago that I ran my first 5K.

It was the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure on Mother’s Day.  I was hovering around 150 here – getting so close to the 140s.  I was getting so excited that I’d finally be in the 140s again soon. 

But after that race, things just went downhill.  Not only with my running and weight loss, but also with my personal life.  Slowly, but surely, I gained all the weight back that I had been working hard to lose.  And then some. 

The last time I stepped on the scale (earlier this week), I was at 172.  Yuck.  That’s all I can say.

I took yet *another* set of before pictures this past weekend.  I look more terrible than I thought.  Sure, I knew my clothes weren’t fitting.  I pretty much wear the same clothes every week (hesitantly, because I don’t even feel comfortable in the clothes that I feel most comfortable in).  I haven’t gone shopping in months, yet I’ve thrown away so many clothes that got rips in them, or just plain didn’t fit anymore.

“It’s the dryer,” I said.  “The dryer at the apartment sucks and shrinks everything.”

While that certainly may have been partly true, pictures do not lie.  And here they are, in all their glory (sorry, I’m not the best at taking pictures of myself). 

I find it quite ironic that my “before” pictures include the leis that I got at my first 5K, hanging on the mirror.

So I guess you could say I’m back.  But not for good reasons – I’m back because I need that kick in the pants and the means to stay on track.

But now is not the time to have a pity party.  I put myself here.  And I most definitely can get myself out.

 

PS – I know I mentioned in my last post that I’d be starting something “new”….but I just couldn’t part with this blog.  So this blog will be sticking around.  For quite a while, judging from these pictures.    :)