Change of Topic

I know this is a weight loss blog, and I try to keep this a happy place.  But I am going through a lot of personal things right now that I feel are just going to make me go bat-shit crazy.  It's starting to get to be too much.

I hate being alone.  So much so that I have allowed myself to be in my current relationship (and a past relationship) for far too long.  I continue to allow myself to not be happy.  Just so I don't have to be alone.  I'm tired of seeing all my friends start families, while I'm stuck here.  I find myself wondering why I was dealt this shit card in life.  What did I do?  I am a good person, and have never done anything wrong to anyone.  My friends would all describe me as one of the nicest people you will meet.  So why am I having to deal with all this?

I feel like at this point in my life, I shouldn't have to deal with this.  And I definitely should not have to deal with the crap my boyfriend is putting me through.  He acts like a hormone-crazed teenager.  I went through that in high school.  I'd rather not go through that again, thank you very much.  There are so many examples I could give you, but I'd rather keep those to myself.  Both because it's embarrassing for me, and because I don't really need to air my dirty laundry here.

I know it's wrong to stay with him.  So why do I continue to torture myself?  In the past month, he has packed up his clothes and left more times than I can count on one hand.  And I continue to beg him to come back (and he does, because he doesn't have money to be on his own).  WHY????

Sigh.  Sorry for the negativity.  I just needed to get my feelings out there somehow.  I promise a more happy post next time.  Sometimes life happens, and it's certainly not all about weight loss.  Weight loss would be a lot easier without all these stressful things going on in my life.