Still Plugging Along

Well, I’m not sure where to start this blog post.  I always hate these types of posts where I have to “explain” myself after going silent for so long.  I’d like to say my very sporadic updates will improve, because it seems every time I say I’ll start updating more, I disappear again.  So let’s just start off with an update on where things are at, and just go from there.

Last time I posted, it was right before my 30th birthday, and I was just getting back into the swing of things when it comes to exercise/diet.  Obviously I fell off the wagon, but I’ve been doing good here and there, and have even been working out consistently for a week now.  I’ve found that the best way to approach my workouts is to just number my workouts – don’t assign a day to them.  Because when I do that and something comes up, I fall off.  I tend to have that “all-or-nothing” approach.  So instead of saying “Monday is this workout, Tuesday is this, etc…” I start with day 1.  Then the next day I workout I move to day 2.  If I miss a day, then the next time I workout, I do day 3.  It’s been working really well, especially in the mental aspect of it.

Eating of course has always been my weakness.  But I’ve come up with a different approach in that department.  I’m working on doing weekly challenges where I focus on just a couple things.  This week, I’ve been focused on no soda, no take-out/delivery/fast food (all meals prepped at home – it doesn’t have to necessarily be “clean” or whatever – this has really helped), no watching TV while I’m eating, journal my meals/workouts, and 2 cups of water a day (I told you – baby steps).  This has been working really good for me so far. 

A lot of times people just jump in to things all gung-ho thinking they’re going to do it all and lose 10 pounds a week.  That’s not helpful, and it can definitely destroy your weight loss efforts.  It’s best to start with baby steps and work your way up.

Another thing I’ve been thinking up lately is a YouTube channel.  I have literally been obsessed with YouTube channels lately, and I’ve subscribed to so many.  They’re so fun to watch, and it’s so easy to get sucked in to that world for hours on end!!  It’s definitely a plus when there’s nothing to watch on TV.  So yeah, I was thinking of starting up a YouTube channel to chronicle my weight loss.  If I do, I’ll obviously share the link here as soon as I upload my first video.  Only problem is – I don’t have any fancy equipment or anything like that.  So I’ll definitely have to wing it. 

So that’s it for now.  I’m still here, still trying, still plugging along.  I can’t promise when I’ll update again, but I’ll keep trying in that department too.  Not like anyone reads this blog or anything on the regular…LOL.  But anyway, hope everyone is having a great week!

Goals For Week 1: Operation Summer Body

A little Sunday funny – because who doesn’t love looking at the Sunday funnies??  
Hope everyone had a great weekend.  Mine was uneventful and completely relaxing.  I definitely need more of them.  But it will definitely be the last weekend of non-activity.  Starting tomorrow, Operation: Summer Body is on.  Here’s the plan for the week.
ExerciseMonday
-AM: C25K
-PM: Pure Cardio
Tuesday
-AM: C25K
-PM: Pure Strength 1
Wednesday
-AM: C25K
-PM: Dynamic Flexibility & Core Dynamics
Thursday
-AM: C25K
-PM: Cardio Strength 1
Friday
-AM: C25K
-PM: Off
Saturday
-Fit Test
Sunday
-Cardio Interval Burn
-Anywhere Anytime Workout
FoodBreakfasts will be oats in a jar.  I went to Michaels this weekend to get some mason jars and will be putting them to use for my breaksfasts!
Lunches will be mixed bowls including quinoa, chicken breast, and lots of veggies all mixed together.
For dinners, I planned 3 different things to cook throughout the week.  Since I live alone, all these dinners will be eaten twice (yay leftovers!).  TJ’s vegetable fried rice with TJ’s chicken chow mein, tilapia with veggies (asparagus & new potatoes), and Sausage with Veggies in Foil Packets.
Snacks will be fruit, protein bars, and protein shakes.
Goals1. Follow my eating and nutrition plan
2. Drink at least 4, 8-oz glasses of water per day
3. Take my daily vitamins (more info on this later)
4. Get in to a skin care and flossing routine – every day!
5. Two-three cheat meals only (I’m kinda loving this goal)
Have a lovely Sunday!  Now it’s time to get cooking my breakfasts and lunches for the week!

Weeks 1 and 2 of Max Weight Loss Challenge

Sorry I wasn’t here to update my progress for last week, or to update with my new weekly schedule.  Life just gets in the way sometimes, and I’m way busy now that summer has rolled around.  But I’m here, so that counts for something!
Review of Week 1Last week I only got workouts in two days.  But hey, I’m not complaining, because that’s more than what I’ve been doing for the last several months.  High five for me!
Meals went pretty well.  I had a few slip-ups once the weekend came around, but I do have to say, I really watched my portions, and only ate until I was full.  I actually threw away quite a bit of food after a couple meals, so I was really excited that that happened.  Each week, I kind of come up with a plan of what I’m going to eat for each meal.  It was mostly the same all week.  Once I got to Friday, though, I treated myself to some Culver’s for lunch.  And it was oh so worth it!!
Breakfasts were Almond Butter Banana Protein Pie from Liz’s blog (recipe here).
Mid-Morning Snacks were Trader Joe’s White Cheddar Puffs, and half of a Clif KidZ Bar
Lunches were something I came up with – chicken sandwich on a ciabatta roll with whipped cream cheese, strawberries, and spinach.  They were yum!  I also had mixed fruit on the side.
Afternoon Snacks were the other half of the KidZ Bar and more mixed fruit.
Dinners were grilled hamburger patties on a lettuce “bun” with corn on the cob and small salad on the side.
I think I did pretty darn well!
Week 2
This week will be a little more tough on the workout front.

Cardio
Party Rockin Step #1
Step Blast
TIU Biker Babes
TIU Love Your Booty Shorts
Drill Max Premix 1
Weights
Standing Leg Pyramid Lower Body + Burn Sets Premix 5 (Shoulders)
Burn Sets Premix 13 (Chest, Back, and Core)
Burn Sets Premix 2 (Biceps, Triceps, and Core)
TIU Love your Legs & Booty + Cross Train Xpress Upper Body Split Premix
Looks tough, I know.  My body is already screaming at me.  The weight workouts I’ve done so far are heavy weights, so my arms, chest, legs, and butt are on fire – which is a good thing! 
----
On a completely unrelated note, here’s a picture of my hometown.  This was from Sunday afternoon.  On Monday, the water was over the sidewalk and creeping on to the street.

Hopefully it gets under control soon.  A big 4th of July celebration is coming to town (it’s the oldest and largest celebration in the state).  On the other side of that bridge is where we always watch the parade, and the small coffee shop that’s over there is completely under water!  I feel terrible for them.  But I believe it’s already crested, and the river is on its way down again!
That’s it for today – happy Hump Day!!

Confession Wednesday

It’s confession time.  Because I haven’t blogged in over a week.  And I gotta get these confessions out there.  Time to be real!!

1.)  I didn’t exercise at all last week.  Or yet this week.  I do plan on starting where I left off a week and a half ago….just gotta get the motivation to do it.  Why can’t I be a normal person and just do something and see it through for once in my life??

2.)  I’m thinking of starting to run again.  But I haven’t run in about 2 years.  I can’t believe it was 2 years ago already that I ran my first (ahem, and only) 5K.  I had such grand plans to keep running and even run a 1/2 marathon.  But none of that happened.  I just stopped after I ran the 5K.  I think I need to find more than one race to sign up for and stick with it.  But I’m afraid of failure and afraid I’ll just stop again.  *Sigh*

3.)  I hate Quest Bars.  I know.  Bloggers all over the world will hate me for saying that.  But I just don’t get all the hype.  Put them in the microwave, and they’ll taste just like a cookie, you say?  No, it has the same taste that all protein bars/powders have, with a terrible aftertaste.  And if after 2 minutes you don’t stuff it down your throat, it turns hard as a rock.  Yuck.  Their chips are disgusting too.  I made the bad choice to buy about 5 bags of them for snacks one week.  I had 2 chips out of that first bag and proceeded to throw that bag and the 4 other bags in the garbage.  Lesson?  Try before you buy a million bags.

4.)  My eating has really sucked.  I do good for 1 or 2 days, then go completely off plan.  I’m starting to think I’m never going to lose weight because I’m, like, pretty much addicted to food.  Good food.  Not lettuce, or vegetables, or fruit.  Carbs.  Give me all the carbs.

5.)  Next Tuesday is my birthday.  My 30th birthday.  Cue the violin music……….   :’(         That is all.

Update

The crickets sure do chirp around here…….

But yes, I’m still here and going at it with my Circuit City rotation.  I’m on week 2 of the rotation.  I didn’t do the workout yesterday, so I’ll be doing yesterday’s workout today….Imax 2.  I think this is one of Cathe’s toughest pure step workouts.  It’s all cardio intervals, and I don’t think I’ve ever been able to get through the entire thing.  So I’ll be taking lots of breaks and pausing it quite a bit I’m sure.    :)

I’ve been doing pretty well on the fitness front, but eating not so much.  The eating part has always been the toughest for me.  I’m an emotional eater, and more than anything, a boredom eater.  I tend to do really well during the day, and get bored when I’m at home doing nothing at night.   :(    Or on the weekends.  I really need to find some hobbies, obviously.

I’ve started tracking again on My Fitness Pal.  It’s been a little sporadic the last week, but I’m working on it.  I definitely want to make sure I’m sticking to my calorie goals.  Right now I’m aiming for about 1400-1500 calories per day (sometimes more if I’m really hungry), seeing as I’m trying to walk at least twice a day (sometimes more), plus doing a pretty vigorous workout after work.  Sticking to a 1200 calorie diet has never been for me.  I’m way too hungry/tired/crabby if I stick to only 1200 per day.  And where will I go if I hit a plateau?  Most certainly not below that calorie level.

I haven’t weighed myself.  Mainly because I’m pretty sure I haven’t lost anything.  I have been bingeing (I never know how to spell that stupid word) too much on the weekends that I think any progress made during the week goes down the drain on the weekends.  So weekends, like I said earlier, are something I’m really going to try to focus on in the next couple of weeks.  I’m going to measure myself sometime this week though.  I do feel like I’ve lost inches, and that has really kept me motivated.  So I’ll share that once I get that done.

So there’s my little update.  I know I always say I’ll post more, but that never happens.  As long as I keep coming back, right?  Baby steps….

TGIF – April 24

Happy Friday!  I thought I’d use Fridays to have a little fun on the blog and catch up on my fav shows that I watch (titles will always be TGIF….doesn’t everyone remember the most epic night of television back in the 90s??  Where TGIF originally came from?).  Gosh I miss those TGIF shows.  And don’t even get me started on Fuller House coming out in 2016…..I predict I will binge the entire show in one sitting, and be begging for more!  Because who doesn’t love Full House??

Anyway, I thought I’d use this first TGIF post to quickly go over the shows that I do watch.  I don’t have cable, so the majority of the shows I watch are usually watched the day after they air.  I do watch Scandal, and unfortunately I haven’t watched last night’s episode yet, because I can’t watch it until tonight on Hulu.

So let’s get started.  Right now I’m not watching a ton of shows.  And some I’m watching on Netflix – usually binge-watching a couple episodes per night.

***WARNING***  SPOILER ALERT  ***WARNING***

I’m so sad that this show is going away.  I absolutely love it, regardless of the “critics” out there.  Emily/Amanda is amazing, and I sure wish I could take revenge like her on those that I feel the need to take revenge on.  This past week’s episode ended with Victoria, sitting in a chair (which she claimed had importance to her), spilling gasoline everywhere in the Grayson (now Amanda’s) mansion and igniting her lighter.  The mansion exploded, and the screen went to black.

WOW.  I did NOT see that coming.  I had no idea what significance the chair had, and I was so confused when the truck driver opened the back to reveal the chair.  Were there some kind of secret documents inside the chair?  I had no idea what it meant.  And the ending really did shock me.  I can’t wait to see what comes of it next week.  But I really hope it doesn’t fuel Margot to continue the feud.  Because, geez, when is Amanda going to catch a break??

Scandal is another one I watch, but like I said, I haven’t watched last night’s episode yet.  I do have to say, though, that this season has really been a downer for me.  I wasn’t liking the whole storyline of Olivia being captured and held prisoner.  They need to get back to the show’s roots and the actual “scandal”….let’s see more sex with the president!  Ha, just kidding.  Sort of.

DD4L!  I’m a dancer, so I obviously love this show.  I had to actually purchase the current season on Vudu, because it’s not available on Netflix.  I binged on the first two seasons on the Lifetime channel on my Roku (they were free).  Once I found out there was a Season 3, and it was currently airing, I just had to have more.  These girls have some serious attitude, and their dancing is on point.  Technique-wise, not so much, but I just love watching.  I kind of feel like the “drama” is a little forced and scripted to make it more interesting, but the dancing makes up for it.  I particularly love the stand battles!

The show I’m currently bingeing on on Netflix is Gossip Girl.  I’m still only in the first season.  I can’t believe I haven’t started watching sooner!!  The beginning was a little hard to get into, but it’s getting more and more interesting with each episode.  I’ll have more to write about as time goes on….

Some other shows I love, but there currently out of season…..Pretty Little Liars, How to Get Away with Murder, and Big Brother (can’t wait for this to start….it’s the thing I look most forward to every summer, and I even buy the online feeds).

Anyone else have any shows they love, that are currently airing?  Obviously I don’t watch much TV, mainly just binge on Netflix.  I need more shows to watch that are current!!

Anyway, it’s the weekend, and I’m super excited to not have to work tomorrow.   :D    Have a good weekend!

Circuit City

I am so so terrible at blogging.  That has obviously not changed since I came back to the blogging world!  I’m going to work on creating some type of schedule (kind of like my “stop eating the entire house after work and create a schedule” routine I came up with a few posts ago) so that I kick out more blog posts more consistently.

Anyhoo…part of the reason I didn’t want to blog is because I’m doing something terribly embarrassing.  Something I promised you guys I would not do.  Seriously I feel like I’m letting the world down when I do this, and I’m so embarrassed to admit it.  But if I want to blog more consistently, I obviously need to be honest, right?

I quit the Bikini Series.  I know.  After only, what?….a week and a half?  Well, I’ll still kind of be doing it.  I’ll be getting in a few booty calls (morning workouts) here and there, and those workouts will be the Tone It Up workouts, but I just felt like it wasn’t enough.  And don’t get me started on the many different pieces of technology I needed to use to get a workout in.  If I needed to do a workout from their most recent DVD, that was easy….just pop it in and I’m ready to go.  But then if I needed to do a workout from their second DVD, I had to turn on my computer and connect it to the TV (because I only have the digital downloads).  Then if it’s a YouTube workout that they post on their web site, I either have to connect my computer to the TV, or get on to YouTube through my Roku (which takes forever when I have to search for something). 

It was just starting to get inconvenient, and I felt like the workouts weren’t working me as much as I wanted them to.  I’m not saying they weren’t hard, but I’m definitely used to hardcore workouts leaving me drenched in sweat.  Some days I was lucky if I even had a little bit of sweat from their workouts (which is hard to believe, seeing I’m soooo out of shape and overweight).

So what’s a girl to do?  If you followed my blog before my hiatus….around the time I ran my 5K…..you’ll know that I love Cathe Friedrich.  She is the QUEEN of at-home workouts.  Recently, she finally added her On Demand subscription as a channel on Roku!!!  I was super pumped to see that.  So I subscribed to her On Demand (about $20/month), and pulled up the channel on my Roku. 

It was love at first sight.  I have access to ALL of her DVD’s (she literally has hundreds of DVD’s) – right at my fingertips!  It’s also nice so when she comes out with new DVD’s, I don’t have to buy them….I have them right away on my Roku (and it’s SO easy to get to the workouts!). 

So I marched right over to her forums, where there are (probably hundreds of) rotations.  Some are made by Cathe, some by other members.  I chose to do her Circuit City rotation she created back in 2007.  It’s basically a ton of circuit workouts.  You can see the rotation here.  I started the rotation yesterday, so today is actually “Tuesday” from the first week (I’ll be doing the Kick, Punch & Crunch workout), and next week I’ll get back on track.   I’ve also been walking on the treadmill at work for 15 minutes, twice a day.  I’m super lucky that we have a small workout area in the back at work with a treadmill, elliptical, weights, balls, bands, and even a TV!  So 2 15-minute walks….that’s a total of 30 extra minutes of movement every day!  I’m proud of myself for sticking to it.  Once the weather starts getting warmer, I’ll probably take my walks outside (in the afternoon, anyway….I’ve made a habit of watching the “Hot Topics” segment of The View every morning during my walk).

So that’s where I’m at.  Like I said, I’m super embarrassed to be admitting that I already quit the Bikini Series, but I’m very optimistic about this rotation and what it can do for me.  Now that I don’t need to hide with my tail between my legs anymore, I can post more often.    :)

The Before….and The Struggles

Okay, it’s time to be honest.  Because what’s the point of having a blog to chronicle my (attempt at) weight loss if I’m just going to lie?  That’s right, there’s no point.   So it’s time to be real for a sec….

I really suck at sticking to things.  Now don’t run away!  This is not a post about me quitting the Bikini Series.  Far from it, actually.  But I did slip quite a bit this week.  And that is not acceptable, considering it’s only the first week of the challenge.  I only checked in twice this week on Instagram (so there goes my chance at an early weekly prize).  And I followed the eating plan maybe 1 1/2 days.  And worked out 3 times (out of 5). 

I guess you could call that somewhat of a success, but there is absolutely no excuse as to why I didn’t do better.  Especially with all the excitement leading up to day 1 of the challenge, and all the support I’ve gotten on Instagram. 

But that seems to be how it goes for me.  I do really well day 1, do sort of okay day 2, then start getting lazier and lazier as the week goes on.  And that keeps going until Sunday when I prep all my meals and get ready for the week, and it all starts over on Monday.  I applaud those of you who can stick to a plan for even a week, because I can’t seem to make it that far. 

I know I can’t get down on myself, and I just have to keep going, but that’s easier said than done.  But it’s my only choice.  Because you know what?  I took my before pictures a couple days ago. 

They were not pretty, and I literally cried when I looked at myself.  I am so unrecognizable, even to myself.  I can’t believe that I look like this.  I pretty much look like a ball on top of my toothpick legs.  It is unflattering, but more importantly, it is completely unhealthy. 

I don’t know if I want to share them on the blog, because they are absolutely hideous and embarrassing.  Maybe I’ll share them as I progress more into my journey.  But for now, they’re staying on my iPad, for only my eyes to see. 

I never thought I would get to this point.  I always thought that the 150s were where I’d be stuck forever.  And now I’m wishing I were still in the 150s, because that was much better than where I am right now.  I’m getting really close to that 200 mark.  I can NOT get there, and I’m promising myself, here and now, that I WILL NOT get there.  I will only go down from here on out, just like I promised in my first post back to blogging. 

Well that was a lot of rambling.  I’m not even sure what I was trying to get to….I guess I needed to vent (yet again).  I wish I could say I knew of a way to get me to stop destroying myself week after week.  I wish I knew how I could get myself through an entire week without slipping, and then another week, and another.  But right now I just don’t know.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m lazy, I’m not motivated….probably both. 

If anyone has any pointers or advice, I’m all ears. 

That’s it for now.  LOL, what a lovely Friday post.  I hope you all enjoy your weekend.  I’ll pop in soon!

Bikini Series Start

Hey hey, it’s me again!  I’m so bad at posting regularly, but I’ll work on it!!

So last week I did a sort of “prep” to get ready for the bikini series.  I seriously cut back on my portions, did some Tone it Up workouts (not as many as I had wished, but more than normal), and tried my best to stick to a healthy eating plan.  I also really worked hard at creating a routine after work so that I wouldn’t mindlessly snack all night and negate everything I did during the day.  And guess what?  I lost 3.8 pounds!  Of course, I’m sure a lot of that was water weight, but I was excited to see the scale go down a bit.  My goal was to lose 2 pounds, so I definitely surpassed that goal.    :)

(Source)

Now on to the Bikini Series, which officially launched on Monday (though, the meal plan started Sunday).  I was excited to get started, especially since I got my Stunner bundle in the mail with all these goodies on Saturday….

I was pumped and ready to get planning so I could go grocery shopping!  I really love the journal that was included in the bundle.  I had originally planned on using my Erin Condren planner to track everything, but the journal is perfect for this Bikini Series! 

I did my grocery shopping on Saturday.  One of the recipes called for coconut meat.  I was wondering where the heck to get coconut meat, but decided I would head to Whole Paycheck Foods to get a coconut, and a couple other items that weren’t at Trader Joe’s.   Overall, the groceries weren’t too expensive….not much more than I normally spend, and my fridge is packed!  Don’t think I could squeeze anything else in there.

Sunday morning I got to work right away prepping the Perfect Fit Blueberry muffins that I needed to eat for breakfast that morning.

(Please ignore the dirty oven, because….who really cleans their oven??)  While the muffins were baking I did their Set the Bar routine from their 2nd DVD, which is basically a run through of several moves where you do each move for a minute and record how many reps you did (burpees, push-ups, plyo lunges, etc)…..then at the end of the 8 weeks, I’ll do it again and see how much I’ve improved.

After my workout I ate my breakfast (2 Perfect Fit Protein muffins, strawberries, and almond milk) and planned a little more.  Although I was planning on following the meal plan, and it does look like it is fool-proof, I just don’t think it’s for me.  Some of the recipes look good, and I will try them out, but some of the foods just won’t work for me or my boyfriend.  I did buy all the ingredients that the meal plan called for, so I did waste a little money, but I’ll try utilizing the ingredients as much as I can for the rest of the week to make sure I don’t waste all of it.  I’m just more of a person who does better when I have things I actually like (a couple lunches call for a salad, which I did not like….I doubt it’s the salad, it’s just me, because I hate salads).  I’m going to use the plan going forward as a loose guide, and sub in things that I know I like, rather than thinking I might like the recipes and end up hating them. 

So there ya have it!  So far so good this week.  Well, other than my booty calls (the Tone It Up version of a morning workout).  I’m just not a morning person no matter what I do.  I’ll keep attempting, and this week my goal is to do at least one.  So far I’m 0 for 3. 

I’ll be checking in again this week.  Saturday will be my weigh-in days for the plan, since I plan on having my cheat meal on Saturday nights (so I obviously can’t weigh in on Sundays, ha).  Hopefully I can pop in for a sec on Saturday for sure to do a quick weigh-in post.

Have a good rest of your day, and don’t forget to follow me on Instagram for my Bikini Series updates (@myinnerbutterfly)!

Ricky Roo

I heard through the grapevine that tomorrow is “National Pet Day.”  So in honor of this lovely day, here are some pics of my crazy, but cute cat, Ricky (who I affectionately call “Ricky Roo”)!

He loves to lay like this.  I’m surprised his neck doesn’t get sore….

Another one of his weird positions.  This is probably one of my favorites….

He loves to be outside, but also loves to chase the birds and other cats, and many times we’ve found him stuck in a tree.  So he needs to stay on his leash (yes, like a dog)!

This was after I got a new collar for him.  He didn’t like it.  It didn’t last long.

I just thought this was cute.

This was right after they installed new kitchen cabinets in my apartment….he was pretty curious.  Poor guy had to be locked in my room all day too when they did it.     :(

That’s it for today!  Enjoy your weekend, and I’m hoping to get something up this weekend, as I’ll be prepping for the Bikini Series.  Starts on Monday!!   :D 

Bikini Series Time

Oops!  Haven’t updated in a few days.  Work has been busy since the office was closed on Friday, but I’m finally starting to catch up again.

So, let’s see….where did I leave off?  I listed some goals that I have to stop eating at night.  So far so good.  I’ve made sure to make a little schedule each day in my Erin Condren planner.  Basically to keep me away from the couch/computer/TV.  I pretty much workout right away after work, do dishes, cook, etc. before I allow myself to sit down.  Because once I sit down…..I’m down for the night.

I also implemented a “no snacking” rule unless I’m sitting at the table.  So far, I’ve been successful!  I’ve actually only had to use that rule once, because the other days I’ve been home, I haven’t been hungry.  Monday I was starving so after my workout, I had a piece of banana bread while sitting at the table.  It hit the spot, and I was good to go the rest of the night until dinner!

So this week has been going well so far.  Something I’m really really excited about is the Tone It Up Bikini Series, which starts next Monday the 13th!!!

I half-assed last year’s Bikini Series, but I’m super-pumped about it this year.  They had “bundles” to celebrate the 5th anniversary, and I purchased the most expensive members-only bundle (I’m considered a “member” because I purchased their Nutrition Plan, and they come out with updates and special editions all the time, which is free to me for life as a member!).  The thing I was most excited about in my bundle is that we get an 8-week journal to go right along with the Bikini Series!  And I love any excuse to journal.   :)    My bundle finally shipped on Monday night, and I’ll hopefully be getting it on Saturday.

From my Instagram (@myinnerbutterfly)

So to get prepped for the Bikini Series, I’ve been following their weekly workout plan this week.  I haven’t done every workout, but I have done the majority of them.  I’m loving them.  At first glance, they looked really easy, and I was like “well, how would this do anything?”…..but they are really challenging!  Especially when upping the weights or doing each workout 2-3 times through!  I’m still feeling the burn from their Bikini Arms routine on Tuesday!

Members are also receiving a free 8-week guide that basically gives you a Bikini Series meal plan……the email is supposed to go live today, so I’m really looking forward to getting that too!!  I have my Hotmail open next to my work email, ha!

So this blog will basically be a lot of Tone It Up Bikini Series for the next 8 weeks.  I’m hoping that with the amount of weight I have to lose, I can lose a good chunk and hopefully be in the running for the grand prize to Playa Del Carmen!  And hopefully I can win a weekly prize or two….they give out prizes to random people who check-in every day on Instagram and such.  My Instagram account will come alive again!  You can follow me over there….my user name is @myinnerbutterfly.

Okay, that’s all for today!  It’s Friday eve…woo-hoo!

Planning and Organizing

Food, food, food.  It is the thing that keeps me alive, but also my worst enemy.  I have such a hard time controlling myself around it.  Yes, it is supposed to be used solely for fuel purposes, but boy do I abuse it. 

I honestly don’t know when or how it started.  I didn’t have a weight problem growing up, but that was mostly because I was a dancer, and we danced for  more than a few hours every day.  So I could whatever the heck I wanted.  Maybe that’s how it started?  Maybe it’s that I got so used to eating whatever I wanted.  Sure, I noticed that I couldn’t do that anymore once I started gaining weight in college, but did I let that stop me?  Nope.  Because I love food.  I love the taste, the texture, and everything about it.

Not only that, but it makes me feel good.  When I’m lonely, I eat.  When I’m sad, I eat.  When I’m stressed, I eat.  When I’m bored, I eat. 

You get the picture.

I honestly don’t know how to stop it.  But one step I’m going to take is to stay away from it.  Keep the triggers out of my home, and keep myself from getting bored.  I usually get home around 5:00, if I don’t go to the gym (and who am I fooling…I don’t go that often, obviously).  That leaves a good 5-6 hour window of “eating opportunity”, or whatever you want to call it.  I’ve tried going to the gym, like I said, but more often than not I talk myself out of going, and end up driving straight past the gym. 

When I was in dance, I had to go.  I had no choice.  And that kept me from eating.  Any day I didn’t have dance, once I got home from school, I’d head straight to the kitchen for a snack (chips and cheese with some pop was always a favorite) to eat while doing homework.  It was a habit I formed, and obviously held on to….because I still head straight for the kitchen the second I get home.

So obviously there are going to be new behaviors that I’m going to have to learn.  Here’s what I have so far.

1.)  No eating /snacking until afternoon workout is complete.   I know it doesn’t stop the eating, but I know I certainly don’t feel like pigging out after working out and completely ruining what I just did.
2.)  When eating/snacking, food can be consumed ONLY at the kitchen table.  Any other place is off-limits.  No standing up by the fridge or the oven while I’m cooking, no eating on the couch.  If I want a snack, I’ll prepare it and eat it at the table.
3.)  Keep all trigger foods/drinks out of the apartment.  This one I already mentioned, and it’s pretty self-explanatory.  I seem to do a lot better when I don’t have junk food in the house.
4.)  Schedule my day.  I bought the Erin Condren Life Planner a few months back.  I’ve used it here and there, but I’ll be using it much more.  I’ll be using it as a food/exercise journal, and as a way to plan my day.  Certain blocks of time are when I’ll be allowed to watch TV or surf the internet/Instagram/Bloglovin/etc.  Every day may be different, depending on my workout plan for that day.  But a general rule I’ll follow is this:  5-7 is workout time/shower time, 7-7:15 is snack time, 7:15-7:45 is cooking time, 7:45-8 is dishwashing time, 8-8:30 is dinner time (at the table!!!), 8:30-10 is TV/internet/blog time, and 10-bedtime is reading time.  It may sound a little too structured, but I have absolutely no structure in my life.  I don’t have kids to take care of, and I’m basically free to do whatever I want when I want (such a terrible problem, I know).  So I need to create some sort of structure to follow.
5.)  Get more sleep.   Easier said than done.  But I need to get more sleep.  I need to get to bed earlier, no excuses!

I’ll be posting this list on my fridge to look at every day and to remember what my goals are.  I realize I need to be a little more organized and plan a little better if I want to lose weight.  So plan and organize I will!

No work for me tomorrow, so today is my Friday.   :D    If I don’t post tomorrow, I hope everyone has a Happy Easter!

Enough Is Enough

Well hello there….I’m sure no one is here anymore.  Which is to be expected.  But I miss blogging.  I miss the accountability, and I miss writing.  So, I’m back!   :D

Now more than ever I need the accountability.  I’m not going to go into the nitty gritty details, but my weight has been climbing.  If you read my blog before, you know this. 

I think before I signed off on blogging, my weight was around 176 pounds, plus or minus a few because it fluctuated so much.  I weighed myself this morning, and I’m now at 189.4.    :(     I can’t believe it. 

Guys, I’m getting really scared.  How is it possible?  It just keeps creeping up and up and it’s not stopping.  I’m starting to feel out of control.  A huge problem lately is doing so good during the day, then getting home and completely bingeing.  Part of my problem is that I have trigger foods in the apartment for my boyfriend.  I’ve gotten rid of those foods, but this is just getting ridiculous.  It has to stop.  I never thought I’d be up to almost 200 pounds.  That is just terrifying to me, and I have been so disgusted with myself and my body.  Honestly, I really feel like I haven’t changed my eating habits so much that it would warrant that type of weight gain, so I’m really at a loss.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older, the sedentary lifestyle is catching up, or what. 

But that stops now.  I need this blog, I need the support, and the accountability.  So I’m back.  For how long?  Who knows….but at least until I can get this weight under control.  I’ll be documenting my entire journey here.  The highs, the lows, and the boring in-betweens.  No more pushing things under the rug, and no more weight gain.  I absolutely refuse to let myself gain another ounce. 

From this point forward, the scale goes down.  I will NOT allow it to go up. 

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!

The End

I’ve thought so many times of closing this blog down.  I haven’t done it yet, but at this time, I think that’s what the best decision is for me.  I just don’t have the time that I used to to dedicate to this blog.  I used to have a really boring job where I could surf the internet pretty much the entire day and get paid for it.  Not anymore.  If I surf the internet for even 15 minutes, I get behind.  Then usually by the time I get home, I’m exhausted and don’t want to come up with a blog entry.

It’s become a chore, and not something I enjoy anymore.  So with that, I’m going to have to shut this place down.  I will continue reading/following other blogs.  And maybe some day I’ll come back (under a different name).  But this is the end for My Inner Butterfly.

I know there are not many of you out there, but to whoever is reading this…thanks for sticking around.  I’ve definitely enjoyed this place…..it’s this space that brought me to my very first 5K.  Something I will always remember.  This blog has seen a lot of ups and downs, and I am forever grateful for it, and all the readers who have commented.  I appreciate you more than you know.

Thanks again.

Another Wake-Up Call

I had another wake up call last night.  I'm not sure how many more of these I'm going to have before I finally change things.  But I hope it's some time soon.
Last night I went out with some friends, and I wanted to look extra nice, because lately I haven't been looking too nice.  I did my hair, did my makeup (a rare occurrence), and as I was getting ready to head out, I grabbed my pretty blue jacket that I've had for a few years.
It didn't fit.  I couldn't even zip it up.
How could that be??  I didn't think that I had really gained that much weight.  But there it was, plain as day.
"Okay," I thought.  "I still have my red one.  I don't have to zip it up.  It just has two buttons and a tie around the waist."
It didn't fit.  It was very tight around the shoulders/arms area.
Sigh.
You can only ignore the signs for so long.  I always thought it was weird how people didn't notice they were gaining weight.  But I see how it can happen now.  I mean....I knew I was gaining weight.  But I didn't think it was that noticeable.  Clothes don't lie.  And jackets certainly don't lie.
I'm so tired of this.  So.  Very.  Tired.
When is this going to stop?  It has to.  And soon.    :(

I Could Be a Scarrryyyy Vampire

Happy Halloween!  Make sure to enjoy that candy, candy, candy (as Garfield would say)!  Just don’t forget about any nutrition/weight loss goals.    ;)  I actually watched the Garfield Halloween special on Hulu a couple nights ago.  Had a smile on my face the entire time.  I just love Garfield!

I’m actually not a big Halloween person, but I love all the movies, TV shows, etc with Halloween themes.  So not sure what I’ll be doing tonight…..probably watching some of those movies and TV shows.    :)

I finally had a chance to look through the schedules of all the Lifetime Fitness clubs around me to see which classes I’ll be going to on which days.  And here’s what I’ve come up with….

Monday
Warrior Sculpt – 5:30-6:30

Tuesday
FIT – 5:30-6:15
Zumba – 6:30-7:30

Wednesday
50/50 Step – 4:45-5:45
Slowburn Vinyasa – 6:00-7:00

Thursday
LifeBarre – 4:45-5:45

Friday
Yin/Restorative Yoga – 4:15-5:15

Saturday
TCX – 9:00 AM – 10:00 AM

Sunday
Slowburn Vinyasa – 7:30 AM-8:30 AM
Step (optional) – 8:45 AM-9:30 AM

I’ll go into more detail for the classes as time goes on, but this is going to be my schedule for the next month.  After the month is over, I’ll re-evaluate, and see if I want to continue with this or try something different.  But I’m committing to this for one whole month!!  No trying something new after a couple days because I think I might have found something different/better.  I’m forcing myself to stick with it enough to actually be able to measure my progress.

For the nutrition front, I’ll be following the Fit Girl’s guide 28-Day Jumpstart Challenge.  They actually started a challenge on the 27th, but with all my craziness going on last weekend, I just couldn’t start on Monday.  So Monday, November 3, is my start date.  More on that to come as well!

Hope everyone has a fun and safe Halloween!

---------------

What are you dressing up as for Halloween?

Have any furry friends you’ll be dressing up? 
-I really, really wanted to dress Ricky up, but my laziness got the best of me.   ;)   Maybe next year!

Any fun Halloween plans?  If you’re not a Halloween fan, what sorts of things do you like to do on Halloween night?

Busy Busy

I’ve gotten behind in my blogging again.  But just so you know, that does NOT mean that I’m not working on my health/fitness goals.  Life has just been crazy busy lately, and it’s starting to settle down again.

One thing that has kept me busy…..I signed up to be a judge for dance team!!!  I am so so excited about this.  I was so bummed when I had to drop out of the studio I was going to because it just cost too much.  But now I can sort of keep dance in my life, and get paid to do it!!  The pay was not the reason I decided to do it – it’s just a nice bonus! 

Saturday I had training – the entire day.  Training went from 7:30 to 6:00.  I was exhausted.  Judging is a lot harder than it may seem.  There are so many things you need to think of – it’s not just “Oh, i liked that routine” or “Oh, that was an average routine.”  Not only do you have to score about 10 different areas (technique, difficulty, etc), but if there’s a big discrepancy in scores, we always have a “Post Meet Conference” to go over our scores and give reasons why we gave the scores we did.  Plus there are people who have to count kicks (yes, you have to count kicks….with a counter device of course), and then there are people in a “tab” room, where you put all the scores together and rank everyone to where they placed.

After the training on Saturday, I headed over to my parents’ (about an hour drive) to watch the dog for the weekend while they were in California.  I ate and headed straight to bed once I got there.  Then Sunday was spent over at my brother’s house, and then a visit to see my Grandpa.

So needless to say, I’ve been busy, and haven’t had much time to sit and reflect on everything.  I’ll be back later to go over all that fun stuff with you.  For now, I gotta get back to work!!  Happy Hump Day!

 

Moving Forward – Part 5

It’s Monday!  Today wasn’t as bad as your “typical” Monday (and thank God it wasn’t “the world’s longest Monday”, ha!).  I was pretty tired, which is to be expected, but the day went by mighty fast.  And ending the day with Garfield is never a bad thing.

It’s finally time for the final part of my moving forward series.  Today I’m talking about the scale. 

There will be no scale.  I’m not sharing the number I saw tonight, and the scale has gone in the closet.

Need proof?

Right next to the toilet paper, because it can kiss my ass!!

I’m not sure when I’ll be taking it out again.  Maybe a month, maybe a couple months, maybe never.  it may not be the most interesting for a weight loss blogger to not track her weight.  People want results.  They want numbers.  But you know what?  People won’t get what they want if I have weekly weigh-ins, because there won’t be any progress.  And I’ll end up giving up, and I’ll end up not blogging again.  I don’t want that.

After I took a look at my past posts, I found that even when I was being really consistent with my workouts, it didn’t always show on the scale.  Eventually that led to my downfall, and I quit.  Because who wants to keep doing what they’re doing when there are absolutely no results on the scale?

I’m done worrying about that number.  Instead, I’ll be tracking my measurements (coming tomorrow), and taking progress pictures every 30 days.  It may not be that number on the scale, but I think it’s still something a reader of a weight loss blog would want to see.

So there you have it.  The end of my series, and the beginning of my new (and final) journey.  It will be a work in progress – everything always is. 

Let’s get started!!

Moving Forward – Part 4

Today I’m moving on to part 4 of my “Moving Forward” series, or this thing will never get done…ha!

I’ll be honest in that I’ve been avoiding this part, because I don’t know what in the actual f*ck I’m supposed to be doing when it comes to my eating.  Of course the cliché thing to say would be to “do what’s best for ME”…..well, um….I don’t know what’s best for me.  That’s the point.  I just don’t know if I can ever be that clean eater, or that flexible dieter, or that everything in moderation girl….the list goes on.  I have no idea what’s best for me, because the 6543543554351 things I’ve tried (but not really tried) have not worked.  That’s why I’m here.  That’s why I’m in the place I’m in right now, being my highest weight ever.

So, to be honest with you, I don’t really have a plan when it comes to eating.  I’m going to take it one day at a time.  For now, I’ll be making a plan for the week of what my meals will be.  Some will be healthy, some not-so-healthy, but for now…..I want to try to stick to a weekly plan.  Every week, I’m going to be posting my food and exercise “diary” to the blog.  I’m thinking Sundays would be a good day to do that.  I know that no one reads blogs on Sundays, but that’s what’s going to work best for ME. 

Of course, I’m not always the most consistent, so I may be doing those posts on Mondays or Tuesdays…..it all depends on when I can get on the laptop to put an actual post together.  And when I post those plans, it will be after the fact.  So the week will have already passed, and I’ll be going over what I ate, what I did for exercise vs. what my plan actually was.  So more of a summary of how I did, rather than planning for the week ahead.

This is mostly to hold myself accountable.  I’m hoping that, with time, one baby step will lead to another….and I’ll eventually find “what’s best for me.”  In the meantime, I hope you’ll stick it out with me while I figure that out.  And let me tell you….it’s going to be a bumpy ride.  But a fun one.    ;)

New Adventures

Okay, I’m taking a little break from my “Moving Forward” series today to talk about what I’ve been doing so far this week.  I have come up with a plan, and I’m really excited to share it….but part of it is coming later, in another post.

Yesterday I went back to the gym…probably the first time in about a month.  I mentioned a while back that I joined Lifetime Fitness….lots of money, but well worth it.  Well, um….if I go, that is.  I really need to put that money to use if I’m going to have such an expensive membership.

Anyway….so yesterday I tried out the Warrior Sculpt class.  It’s like a blend of yoga, traditional strength & cardio training.  Plus….the room is heated up to about 75-80 degrees.  And of course I forgot my water bottle.  Ugh.  As soon as i walked in the room I needed a drink – it was heated in there!  The beginning of the class was really relaxing.  I started to wonder if I was in the right class.

Oh boy, I sure was in the right class!  The pace quickened from there.  I had to make several adjustments to make things easier, and had to leave the room a few times for some water.  There was one part where I felt a little dizzy, so I had to just stand there and wait for it to pass.

But I loved it!!  I’ve never done anything like it before.  Yes, it was hard – and a little embarrassing, because everyone seemed to keep up really well – but it is something I really want to keep working at!

Tonight I’ll be starting the C25K plan (Yep!!! I’m running again…..more on that in another post!!), and then I’ll be doing a LifeBarre class.  I’m really excited about that one, especially since I have a background in dance.  I don’t expect it to be easy, by any means….but dance is something I really, really miss.  I’m glad to be adding that class!

Hope everyone is having a great Tuesday!!