Oh Hi There

Oy vey.  I just can not seem to get back on to the health train, can I?  It's been almost a month since I last posted - time sure flies!!

So a little update is in order.  First, I'm LOVING my new job!!  Seriously.  It keeps me busy, and the days just FLY by.  I love it when that happens.  At my old job, I was twiddling my thumbs already at 10:00, and counting down the hours, minutes, seconds until it was time to go home.  It made for a really long day, and not to mention, I got in a pretty bad habit of running to the vending machine multiple times a day (out of boredom), especially after they put Avanti markets in our cafeteria (it's like a convenience store for corporations).  Bad news bears right there.

But here?  I usually don't have time to eat a snack, or I completely forget about it altogether!!  We also have no vending machines here, which I think is a good thing.  Because I just can't control myself around those things.  We do have free soda in the fridge, but it's not my favorite (Pepsi, and the rest are diet), so I hardly ever drink it.

Thanksgiving was great.  I went to my parents' house, as usual, and spent Thanksgiving with the 'rents, my brother, his wife, and my niece and nephew.  Small gathering, but I like it that way.

Now I'm looking forward to Christmas!!  Well, not spending money.  My bank account is starting to look mighty small.  Hoping I get at least a little Christmas bonus, even though I just started a couple months ago!

On the healthy eating front, I'd maybe give myself a B-.  I'm certainly still trying, with my planning and prepping (some weeks).  But some days, I just don't want what I packed in my lunch.  Especially when I plan the same lunch every single day.  It's just hard living alone to be able to have a different lunch every day.  I feel like a lot of food would go to waste.  

Dinners lately I've been having Shakeology!  Yep, I bit the bullet and got that expensive stuff.  I've only had it a few days now.  I have it at night, because the first day I had it for breakfast, I was so tired come 1:00.  I seriously just wanted to collapse at my desk and do absolutely nothing.  Not sure where the energy comes from that everyone raves about - I sure don't get it.  That's why I have it at night, and I usually wake up pretty refreshed in the morning!!  It also helps my grocery bill, since I don't have to worry about dinners.   :)

The fitness front, I'm giving myself an F.  Yeah.  It's non-existent.  I come up with such great plans, and when the day comes to start it, I don't do it.  Then a day turns into a week, and weeks turn in to months......you get the picture.  I really need to get with the program and get motivated again.  I just don't know what to do.

Especially now with the weather getting bad.  It took me more than an hour to get home the last few nights because of snow.  Ugh!!!  Let the winter driving begin.    :(     It's going to suck.  By the time I get home, I want nothing to do with working out.  All I want to do is put on my PJ's and snuggle up on the couch to watch a Christmas movie.

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That's it for now.  A little disappointing that I don't have anything motivating for you, but that's life.  I know things will turn around eventually.  As long as I keep trying!

Happy Friday!

Crossing My Legs

I've always heard of women complaining about not being able to cross their legs.  I've also heard the "NSV" stories of girls who could finally cross their legs after losing X amount of weight.  Truth be told, I've never really understood this.

Ever since I could remember, I've always been able to cross my legs.  But lately?  No.  It's really uncomfortable, and my lower leg typically sticks out so far, it almost looks like I'm crossing them in a "manly" way (you know how men cross their legs, with their ankle on top of their thigh).  Now I can finally sympathize with those women.  And I don't like it.

So on top of the weight gain this year, now I can not cross my legs.  Well, I can, but like I said - it hurts, and it's uncomfortable.  This is so disappointing to me, as I've always had great legs (from dance).  I've always gotten compliments, people telling me I have great legs.  Well, not anymore.

I realize that pretty much all my posts lately have been Debbie Downer, and I've been talking about how I need to make a change.  But I haven't made a change.  I have, however, made a plan.  A plan that is realistic.  A plan that will make these Debbie Downer posts disappear.

And most of all, a plan that will get my legs crossing again.


To Be Continued...

This Is Me, Right Now

I've gone back and forth about whether or not I really wanted to publish a post like this.  But things don't seem to be getting any better, so it's time to fess up and come clean.

I've stopped blogging recently.  A couple reasons for that - obviously, the new job.  But the other reason, I'm not too proud of.  I've gained more weight.  I've been hovering between 162 and 165 for the past several weeks.

Initially, I didn't know why.  Although I stopped going to the gym, I didn't think I was eating that terribly.  But I was wrong.

It's embarrassing coming here and having to admit that, after meeting my goal of running my first 5K, and having so much momentum in the beginning of 2013, I am now way worse off than where I started.  I've gained a good 15 pounds since the beginning of the year - a little more than that.  I was so happy to finally be in the 140s, a place I find so hard to get to, but I didn't stay there long.

A little treat here, a little treat there.  I had vowed not to have such an unhealthy eating style, and didn't want to deprive myself - but I ended being way too lenient with myself and ended up where I am today, in the 160s.

My highest. Weight. Ever.

Not only has this weight thing completely brought my self esteem down, but it has seemed to bring my age up.  I mentioned I got a new job, and just last week, one of my new co-workers was asking me questions, trying to get to know me a little better.  She asked me when I graduated high school, because she thought I looked around the same age as her.

Ummm, she is 40.  I'm not even 30 yet.  WTF??!!  Obviously that was an awkward moment.  I just wanted to run away and cry.  I know that part of the reason I look older is because I'm so overweight and unhealthy.

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I started this blog to document my weight loss, and also to document my journey to "finding myself", and I feel like a big fat failure.  I know people like to read blogs for inspiration, and I certainly have not been an inspiration for the year (or a little more than a year) that I've had this blog.  I know I've lost quite a lot of readers, partly because of this, and also partly because I just kind of fizzled out and stopped blogging.  In other words, I didn't want to keep coming back here to talk about how I fell off the wagon again - after only a few days.

Everyone says that there is a moment when everything "clicks."  Maybe I haven't had that moment yet.  Maybe I never will, and it's not necessarily true.  All I know is that I really want to lose this weight.  More than anything.  But I haven't been willing to make the changes necessary to lose that weight.

Thanks to anyone who has stuck around (if there's anyone out there).  I've made a promise to myself that I will continue to blog, good and bad.  But now I probably won't only focus on weight loss.  I know my blog is weight-loss centered - that won't change - but there is definitely more to me than just weight loss, so expect some posts from me that are not about weight loss.

I was contemplating on changing the name of my blog, but decided against it.  I'd like to keep this blog name - it's been a part of me for more than a year, so I don't want to change that.

Again, if there's anyone out there, thanks for sticking around.  You'll be glad you did, I promise!

Update

Well hello there!  I obviously haven't blogged in a while - a couple weeks to be exact.  I'm still here and well.  Like I said, I got a new job (started last week), and like many of you, I used to update the 'ol blog from work.  Couldn't really do that the first week on the job.

Another reason I haven't been blogging is because I'm working on something new.  Details will be coming soon.

I just wanted to pop in quick to say YES, I'm still here.  And NO, I am not going to stop blogging!   :)   I'll be back in the next week or so.    :)

Mondays Suck.

So true, Garfield.  So true.

So I stepped on the scale this morning.  I did not like what I saw.  Let me back up a bit....

This week, I really worked on being a little more consistent.  Well, during the week anyway.  I did workout 3 times, which was more than the last couple of weeks.  However, it certainly wasn't as much as I would have liked.  According to my schedule, I should have at least worked out 5 times.  Here's what the week looked like (what was planned is in black, what I actually did is in blue).

Monday: Pure Cardio | Pure Cardio
Tuesday: Pure Strength 1 | Pure Strength 1
Wednesday: Dynamic Flexibility & Core Dynamics | Rest
Thursday: Cardio Strength 1 | Cardio Strength 1
Friday: Rest | Rest
Saturday: Cardio Interval Burn & Anywhere Anytime Workout | Rest
Sunday: Rest | Rest

Obviously my weekends need a little work.

I would recap my goals for last week, but I forgot my food journal at home.  Grrrrr.  Not to mention I'm sick today - I feel the start of a cold coming on, with my head feeling stuffed, and my throat feeling scratchy.  This is shaping in to a lovely Monday.    :-\

Now back to the scale.  Considering I did a little better this week, I was at least hoping for a little bit of a loss.  Nope.

163.8

Before, it was 163.  Sigh.  I'm getting so frustrated.  It's as if no matter what I do these days, I can not lose weight.  What gives??  No, I haven't been 100% on point, but I should at least see some type of progress.  I remember a couple years ago, all I did was change my eating just a little bit, and exercise here and there, and I lost weight like nothing.  It's definitely frustrating.  Aren't the first couple weeks supposed to be the weeks when you lose the most weight??  I've lost nothing, and even gained weight.  Sometimes I want to blame it on birth control, and stop taking it just to see if that helps.  But I know that can't be it.  I've been on birth control for a couple years now.  Surely my body should have adjusted by now?

Sorry for the crappy mood Monday post.  I promise I'll be in a better mood tomorrow.  And I'll remember my food journal, so I can update you on how I did with my goals.  Just gotta keep going I guess.  What else can you do....

Great News!

Welllll....I finally have some good news to share.  I got the news later in the afternoon yesterday.

I got a new job!!

I am beyond thrilled.  I have been so unhappy at this job for the past year and a half I've been here.  It has been non-stop drama, boredom, and soul-sucking.  I don't want to be too detailed - you never know who is reading your blog - but this was just not the job for me.  I'm so happy to be moving back to a smaller company (which I prefer), with better benefits, and hopefully the nonsense of the corporate world is behind me.  Now I just have to get through the discussion I'll be having with my boss tomorrow.  That should be fun (not).

There will be no Fitness in Review today - I didn't workout yesterday, because I was just too excited and wanted to relax and be in the moment.  I'll be back at it today, though.   ;)

That's all for today.  I'm just so giddy!  Happy Friday Eve!!

Hump Day & Pure Strength

Hello, and happy hump day - the camel's favorite day!  Well, I haven't heard any news yet, but it is only 9:00, so I'll make sure I update as soon as I hear word.  It's hard to explain it without saying what it is - and I can't really talk about it right now - so I'm going to have to leave you hanging.  Sorry!   :)

{FITNESS IN REVIEW}
Time to talk about Peak Fit!  So yesterday I did the Pure Strength 1 workout.  Normally I don't like to do strength workouts just because it doesn't burn as many calories as cardio, but this workout had my heart pumping, and I was sweating!  I really enjoyed this workout.  It was 55 minutes, but it seriously felt like it was only about 20 minutes.  It was fun, and very fast-paced.

The first group of exercises targets the back (you do back exercises for about 5 minutes), and the next group of exercises targets the chest (another 5 minutes).  The last 30 seconds or so in the 5 minutes, you do kind of a total body exercise, utilizing the specific body part.  After going through the back and chest, you start over again and do the groups of exercises again.

Then she moves on to 5 minutes of legs, then 5 minutes of arms (shoulders, biceps, triceps).  Then again, the two groups are repeated.  I did not get bored.

Obviously, it's not like a Cathe workout, where you lift heavy, but I felt it worked me pretty well.  You use a set of light weights, a set of heavy weights, and a band (the band included in the set was way too hard and thick.  I had to get out my TurboFire band!!).  Again, I didn't wear a heart rate monitor.  I need to remember to wear one.  Today it looks like an eas(ier) workout - Dynamic Flexibility + Core Dynamics.  Looking forward to it!