Work In Progress

Hey everyone, and Happy Friday eve!!  
I always find it so hard to come up with post topics.  My life is completely boring, and well, I don't want to always talk about losing weight.  That can get boring too.  I suppose I should try to be all "official" and "professional" and get like a blogging planner or something.  Yeah, like that'll ever happen!    :)
So for now, I'll just talk about the challenge.  I'm doing pretty good.  I have gotten bored with my lunch though.  I only had that quinoa mix twice this week.  The other two weeks I hit up the salad bar at Kawalski's.  Sure, the salad was healthy, but not so much the pasta that I got along with it.   Oops.  I'm thinking next week I'll need to come up with a couple different lunches.  Because who wants to eat quinoa 5 days a week?!
Another thing I'll need to change up is my fitness routine.  
Well, you might as well just come up with a whole new plan, Heather!  Geesh!
I know, I know.  But that's who I am.  I gotta change things up to keep things interesting.  I did get up early to do my first workout on Monday.  But that hasn't happened since.  Which is no big surprise.  I've never been a morning person, and never will be.  I don't know why I though this time would be different.  
I also decided I do actually need to go to the gym to workout.  The videos are going great, and I've been following week 1 nicely, but I just don't like having to move everything around in my living room, and then having my dumbbells, shoes, and tubing laying everywhere because I'm always so lazy to put everything away.  I'm high-maintenance, I know.  I'll still continue with the plan for the week, but there will be some changes next week.
And that's what this journey is all about.  Trying a ton of different things to see what works for you!  I'll get there eventually.   :)

En Vogue

I'm so excited about this challenge that I'm doing, and it has gotten off to a great start.  I don't want to get in to a ton of detail, because I do plan on doing weekly check-ins to go over how the week went.  One thing I do want to talk about is my lunch.  I got my lunch idea from Skinny Meg - it's basically a bowl of quinoa, chicken, and lots of veggies.  I have to admit, yesterday it was a little bland.  The feta cheese I added made it pretty good though.   But today?  Today I added avocado along with the feta cheese.  Omg, I was in heaven.  I just absolutely love avocados.  I can't believe I had never had one prior to a few years ago.   Changing subjects - I just have to comment on this whole debacle with Kim and Kanye. Now, I'm not a huge fan of them.  I'm actually pretty indifferent.  I don't love them, and I don't hate them.  I mean, it's not like they're murderers - but you'd think they are with the way some people act when they even hear their names.   Anyway, my opinion?  They really don't belong on that cover.  I'm not a Vogue reader.  However, I can see why the fashion community (and the magazine's fans) are up in arms about it.  Think about it - it's kind of like false advertising.  Like how people get upset when they see a McDonald's ad pop up when they're browsing their favorite health and wellness blog.  It's like, what??  It doesn't make sense.   But I also have to say, I'm glad that its editor is getting backlash.  Ever since her comment about Minnesotans, I haven't been a fan of hers.  Didn't hear about it?  This is what she said when she visited Minneapolis a few years ago.... "I'd just been on a trip to Minnesota, where I can only kindly describe most of the people I saw as little houses." Um, excuse me?  No, we don't look like skeletons like you, Ms. Wintour.  In fact, Minneapolis has consistently been at the top when it comes to the fittest cities in the US.  She, and a lot of the fashion world, disgusts me. So there's that.  My take on the whole situation.  As if it really matters, ha!  Hope everyone has a great Tuesday!

The Plan

It’s no secret that I’ve completely fallen off the wagon.  Just how much, though, is what you don’t know.  Last time I blogged, I mentioned that I was at my highest weight ever.  Well, now even that weight isn’t my highest weight ever.  I weighed myself this week, and it was not pretty.  I’m tipping the scales at close to 170 pounds, and at 5’1”, that does not look good on me.

So what’s a girl to do?  What I’d really like to do is find some fro-yo and swim in it (which, I’ll admit, I’ve been eating a lot of lately).

But that’s not going to help the problem, is it?  So over the last couple of days, I’ve come up with a plan.  You all know how good I am at making plans.

There’s been so much fuss in the blogging world about the Advocare Cleanse, and most recently, the 21-Day Fix.  These all sound like great things, but in all honesty, I just don’t have the money right now to shell out for a program that I know will only work in the short run. 

So I’ve come up with my own program.  And it’s hard-core.  Because, well, unless you’re living under a rock, you know that Spring has sprung.  And it’s only a matter of time before summer rolls around.  I don’t know about you, but I do NOT want to spend another summer in pants.  Or in shorts and a top when I go swimming (or not go swimming at all – which is what happened last summer).

So let’s get started.

Exercise
It’s time for two-a-days (see the paragraph above – summer is coming!).  In the mornings, I’ll be going to the gym bright and early.  I’ll be doing the C25K program (again) in the mornings.  At night, I’ll finally be putting those DVD’s to use that I bought last year and never used.

Michelle Dozois’s PeakFit Challenge.  I love these DVD’s.  Sure, I didn’t stick to the program before, but I absolutely love Michelle.  She has a dancer background, like me, so her DVD’s really appeal to me.

Eating
Clean eating is the name of the game.  I’m not going to go completely strict here, though.  But I will be back to tracking calories and eating as clean as possible.  I got a lot of really good food ideas from Skinny Meg’s post yesterday, so I’ll be incorporating some of those foods. 

Every week I’ll be posting my Fitness and Nutrition plan for the week.  I’ll be posting how I’m doing, goals, and so much more.

I’m back.  This blog is back!  And I’m having a good feeling about this summer.  It’s time to change.  No more sitting back and watching the scale creep up.  It’s time to do something about it!!

Hello hello!  I keep promising that I'll get on a blogging schedule, and that never happens.  I just seem to crank out those depressing posts like that last one.  Ha.   :)    I was having a bad day, and this place is my outlet - so sue me!
Since that last post, I've found the courage to let go of some things, and to think of me.  I realize that all you married women, with children, probably thought "Oh wah, Heather - stop crying about not having time to yourself.  We all feel like that!"
Yes, that is probably true.  I was at my breaking point.  And I've finally been able to breathe.  Letting go of things/people can be scary, but you really need to look at the big picture.  I have, and I can now see that I made the right decision.
So back to the blog.  I've been thinking a lot lately about me (obviously).  When I really sit down to think about it, I don't really have a list of things I enjoy.  I just kind of go with what's "in" or what everyone else is doing.  This has certainly been the case with running.  
I did an awesome job of doing the C25K last year, and ran my first 5K.  I even made the decision to try for a 10K, but that's where it ended.  I tried to make it a goal to run a 10K and a half marathon for 2014, and even made if Facebook official  

Today I Looked In The Mirror

You’re probably wondering, “big deal”, right?  Everyone looks in the mirror every day.   But today I really looked at myself in the mirror.

Not naked.  I’m not talking about that today.

No, I looked myself in the eyes today.  And I saw…

Emptiness.

Sadness.

Tiredness.

I have not been myself the past few months.  I have gained more weight, felt more uncomfortable in my clothes, but most of all – I’ve put everyone’s needs ahead of my own.  Something I had vowed not to do this year. 

For the past few months, I’ve done absolutely nothing for myself.  I’ve had no time to myself to work out, relax, get a hair cut, do my nails – nothing to take care of myself.  I’m not going to get in to the details of “why”.  I don’t think that dirty laundry needs to be aired on the blog. 

But it was as if my soul was empty when I looked at myself.  I don’t even know who I am anymore.

I don’t remember the last time I went shopping for clothes.  I wear the same five outfits every week, and I feel absolutely and ridiculously frumpy.  I don’t wear nice shoes anymore either.  You’d think that would be the one thing I can wear and not worry about it not fitting.  But I’ve noticed as I gain weight, I can barely walk in heels.  I’m constantly tripping or rolling my ankle.  Maybe my ankles can’t handle the extra weight?  I don’t know, but it’s really annoying.  So I’ve been wearing flat shoes (old shoes, at that).  The same shoes every day.  And when you’re short, flat shoes are no bueno.  They make me look even more frumpy.

Not only that, but I typically take a shower in the morning, and do nothing with my hair.  I let it air-dry, and it falls flat within a couple hours (or by the time I get to work).  Not to mention I haven’t gotten a hair cut in ages, so even if I do attempt to do my hair, it falls flat anyway. 

And make-up?  Um, what is that?  Some days I may find a little time to put some eyeliner on, and that’s it.  I look absolutely ridiculous at work, and I’m sure I’m the topic of conversation between quite a few people at work (you know how gossipy people can be in the cube farm – it’s like high school all over again). 

I have absolutely no time to exercise.  I’m stuck doing those other things for other people, so by the time I get home and in bed, it’s 11:30.  Then I get up and leave the house by 5:30.  I am gone every day from 5:30 am to 11:30 pm. 

I’m exhausted.  And I hate my life right now.  I just want my life back.  I have no idea if that will happen any time soon. 

All I know is, today I looked myself in the eyes….and I didn’t like what I saw.